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Sorry doesn't cut it.



I screamed at a person last night. A person that I've come to care about deeply in a short amount of time.


It happened when I was talking to her about a matter that we both felt strongly about. What started as an opinion turned sour and bitter. As the last words left my mouth, I hadn't realised it. I let my emotions get the best of me. The person didn't say anything in response. They cut the call.


Without sensibility, sensitivity and humanity, I messaged her asking why she cut the call. Fuck. As I write this, reflecting on what I did last night night, I feel shame. I feel regret.

But regret wouldn't even do justice to what I'm feeling.


To be brutally honest, I know what I'm feeling. I don't know why I hesitated to write it.

I feel that I shouldn't have existed. I shouldn't have been present in this person's life.


When we spoke on the phone again, that's when I realised what I had done.

I made her cry. I caused great sadness to the person I care about.


God. I'm such a fool. Sorry doesn't cut how I'm feeling right now.


What started as this -


Has now become this -


I don't deserve beauty in life. I sully it.

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